29th Transmission -- [Locked FROM Ratchet]

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Ironhide has never sounded this awkward or embarrassed in his entire time aboard the ship. He doesn't even seem able to quite get coherent words out of himself.]

I... I need... to find books. Certain... books. Of... questionable content. I... do not ask this lightly, I...

Need books about... human... mating. Do not ask.


Hate my life.





((ooc: Ironhide chucked Ratchet's books out the window. See? His wife is not happy.))

Comments

[chopshopgoddess.livejournal.com]

Told you he'd be mad.

[heavyweaponsbot]

... I did not think he would notice.

[chopshopgoddess.livejournal.com]

I tooooold you he would.

[missmimmi]

You need what?!

[heavyweaponsbot]

Ratchet--! He had them for research! I... threw them out!

Just... he needs them replaced! It is not like that!

[missmimmi]

Um.

[Okaaaay]

I... suppose you can simply find something in the library. Or possibly deck 12.

[ixgideonxi.livejournal.com]

I... okay. You told us not to ask, but... that doesn't particularly sound like the type of thing you guys would need.

[Gideon pauses to try and think of why a sentient mech would need something like this. It takes him a bit.]

...Unless your science buddy is getting overtly curious about other race's "practices".

[heavyweaponsbot]

... I--[He growls to himself for a couple moments before he can answer.]

It is not. Ratchet just... has an interest. Scientific... interest.

[ixgideonxi.livejournal.com]

Sounds like an interesting... interest.

So, uh. Is he looking for books on like, courting... or the actual act?

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Why just human matin'? Dem pink-skins barely even do it right.

[heavyweaponsbot]

I do not want... any mating... I just... my medic... he has an interest. That is what... he had and it needs replacing.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Be seemin' like da mon be pigeonholin' himself. Be a lot more out dere den just humans.

[talkback-stein.livejournal.com]

You want porn!?

[LOOOOOOOL]

Dude, seriously, this is not the way to--

[PFFFFT, okay he can't stop the laughter. This is kindof superb.]

[heavyweaponsbot]

...

Porn? What is...

[Wait a second. That was--wasn't the human internet full of--]

No! It was--instruction manuals! Something! Not that!

[ecopiracy.livejournal.com]

[What's this? Ironhide actively seeking information on sex?]

Human, or will anything comparable to humans do?

[heavyweaponsbot]

[He actually chokes. Oh why did he do this...?]

I do... not know. Ratchet's books were... on humans. Just trying to replace the things. I do not want to know how organics... mate.

[ecopiracy.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Do you truly need replacement books? Or do you just need to replace the information that was lost?

[scionofwisdom.livejournal.com]

That is...an interesting choice in subject matter, Ironhide.

[heavyweaponsbot]

Only asking because Ratchet had a book.

...

He no longer has said book.

[scionofwisdom.livejournal.com]

I see. And would you have something to do with the disappearance of said book?

[jazzingitup.livejournal.com]

[Hear this sound? Having laughed at Ratchet, Jazz is now laughing at you.]

[heavyweaponsbot]

... Not funny. Not at all funny.

[jazzingitup.livejournal.com]

'Course it is Ironhide. [Still sniggering on the side.]

[bitchingcamaro.livejournal.com]

_{[Loud and exuberant laugh track.]}

[heavyweaponsbot]

This is not amusing.