I Am A Soldier:

[Granted, Ironhide is an alien robot. However, that does not mean he likes getting snow in places. Or the cold. He never has.]

[He was out stomping around the castle grounds when the snow suddenly hit. And by the time he gets inside, he's covered in white, slightly damp... and incredibly grouchy about the whole thing.]

Where is the nearest heat source? Going to rust if this all stays... like it is.

[When the comm is picked up, Ironhide starts out perfectly calm and composed.  Even so, there is an odd quality to his voice that isn't usually present.]

For the last time...

[And then he promptly bellows into the comms.]

MAKE UP YOUR MIND!  

Autobot!  I am Autobot!  Not... What is the meaning of this!  Bumblebee, Ratchet.  Respond.  Are you still... hmnf.  Is anyone else ... different?



((ooc: Thanks for the humanizing, captain!))

[The video is accidental. What one can see, at first, is the tiny golden arm of a frog. Specifically, C4. The frog peers into the camera for a second before becoming bored and hopping off.

This leaves the screen clear to show off the rest of the room. Amidst the piles and piles of random objects, including but not limited to, a lampshade, books, a small blackboard, golf clubs, little bottles with plants inside, toy boats, a shovel, stuffed whale, soil samples neatly labeled, stuffed dog... and so on and so forth. All of it is very organized.

And, of course, sprawled out in the center of the room is a pile of black metal... and a pile of neon metal, stretched out on top. Ironhide has an arm draped over his companion, whose head is resting comfortably on his chest. Neither of them appear to be awake.

The feed cuts out... but the comm is still very much on.]

[Ironhide has never sounded this awkward or embarrassed in his entire time aboard the ship. He doesn't even seem able to quite get coherent words out of himself.]

I... I need... to find books. Certain... books. Of... questionable content. I... do not ask this lightly, I...

Need books about... human... mating. Do not ask.


Hate my life.





((ooc: Ironhide chucked Ratchet's books out the window. See? His wife is not happy.))

Is there nowhere on this ship that is not freezing? Joints are rusting in this.

[Some scraping sounds over the coms - the old!bot is on the move, despite the creak and groan of a certain half-functional limb.]

Tell me there is somewhere free of this... holiday nonsense.

[He's wandering as he speaks, so feel free to run into him, if you so choose. ]



[ALSO.

If Ratchet ventures outside his door... this book is sitting outside it. He found it in the giant luggage pile.

If Mikaela pokes her head out... there's a pink sweater, about three sizes too small, in the snow outside her door.

If Blurr comes outside... there's a cube of energon. He was a little stumped on that one.

And if Gannondorf or Shockwave come out... there are a few scattered pieces of fish!corpse outside their doors.

It seems that, despite claiming to hate the afforementioned parties, someone made an attempt at peacemaking. Sort of. Which happens to coincide with Christmas.]

...

[The com clicks on. And there is a long... long silence. Some shifting in the background. Unlike previous transmissions, this one lacks the distinct creaking sounds of metal. At last, a voice speaks. While familiar, it is not... the same as before.]

...

I require... [another pause] I... need... hmn.

Clothing. Covering. Now.