I Am A Soldier:

[If it's possible for a five-ton Autobot to sound tired, Ironhide does.  Not nearly as much as he would, if he'd been organic, but still.  And then, finding the ship in complete disarray?  Not so good on the nerves.]

We... have returned.  All those who lived. 

[A pause, and he cycles air through his intakes.]

The one we went in for, the female, has been secured.  I want a status report from... anyone who can give it.  On the ship, on... yourselves.

[And anyone he cares about -- YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.]

You humans have the strangest things in your belongings...

[The video cuts in briefly to show Ironhide on the luggage deck.  He's holding what appears to be a piggy bank in his hands, examining it closely.  It jingles.

In his other hand is what looks like a can of compressed air... and a bottle of Old Spice body wash.]

At least some of it is useful.

[He sets the piggy bank aside and selects the can next.  The video cuts out then, but, shortly thereafter, there is a loud POP.  Ironhide is silent.  When he speaks again, he sounds disgruntled.]

...

Who would keep air in a can!

Why is it that organic fuel constantly appears in my presence? I have neither desire, nor capacity, to ingest this... Eugh.

Anyone want this scrap?

[Ironhide is offering up his Valentines candies to anyone who wants them. The stuffed creature--resembling a bull terrier--he picked up, and examined, but decided it was going to a special home.

Anyone who wants candy is welcome to either knock on his door, or pester him over the comms.]