29th Transmission -- [Locked FROM Ratchet]

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Ironhide has never sounded this awkward or embarrassed in his entire time aboard the ship. He doesn't even seem able to quite get coherent words out of himself.]

I... I need... to find books. Certain... books. Of... questionable content. I... do not ask this lightly, I...

Need books about... human... mating. Do not ask.


Hate my life.





((ooc: Ironhide chucked Ratchet's books out the window. See? His wife is not happy.))

Comments

[heavyweaponsbot]

[He actually chokes. Oh why did he do this...?]

I do... not know. Ratchet's books were... on humans. Just trying to replace the things. I do not want to know how organics... mate.

[ecopiracy.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Do you truly need replacement books? Or do you just need to replace the information that was lost?

[heavyweaponsbot]

Yes. Books. Just... books.

[He doesn't have to hear the information that way.]

[ecopiracy.livejournal.com]

[He's having trouble holding back his grin.]

Sadly, I have no books on the subject on hand. I am, however, fairly well versed in certain particular areas. Are you certain you don't wish me to recite what I know?

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Oh All Spark he wants to die. Just... curl up and die.]

No. Just. No. He needs the book. Not... not... recitation. I am not the one who wants to know. He is.

[ecopiracy.livejournal.com]

Not even a text transmission?

[His tone of voice is entirely too innocent, Ironhide.]

I'd be happy to do that, too.

[heavyweaponsbot]

Send it to Ratchet! I do not want to know!

[This is not helping. This is not helping at all.]

[ecopiracy.livejournal.com]

[Phoenix laughs.]

You allow others to get a rise out of you much too easily, Ironhide. Do you really want me to send your companion a missive on the details of sex?

[heavyweaponsbot]

I dislike these kinds of topics... I do not wish to discuss them. At all.

... Yeah. Go do that. He will appreciate it.

[ecopiracy.livejournal.com]

Which is certainly within your rights, but by reacting so strongly when others bring it up, you are all but inviting them to continue to provoke that response.

Hmm.

[Well, he did offer, even if it was in jest.]

I shall need his communicator ID, then. This isn't the sort of thing to be broadcast unlocked.

[heavyweaponsbot]

I can handle it. I am nothing if not... durable.

[This is the perfect solution. Ratchet has to forgive him now.]

Sending it over... And I have no wish to hear it, either.

[ecopiracy.livejournal.com]

The point is that people are more likely to let the topic drop if they do not gain such a response from you. Since you do not like to discuss it at all, I would imagine this would be ideal for you. But if you'd prefer to stay your course and weather the resulting amusement, that is, of course, your decision.

[Phoenix glances at the ID, and yes, it's not one he's familiar with. He stores it away to be accessed later once he's ready to contact Ratchet.]

Very good. I'll be contacting him later, then.

[heavyweaponsbot]

I am incapable of subtlety... or... whatever that is. Anyone laughs... I will hurt them.

[Not really, but there's no problem threatening. He's good at threatening.]

Hmn. Good. Maybe then he will stop... being angry with me.

[ecopiracy.livejournal.com]

[Considering that, technically, Phoenix has already laughed at Ironhide... Yes, Phoenix know how serious Ironhide really is with that threat.]

Ah well. It was just a thought.

Good luck with your companion.

[Now to compose some text.]