29th Transmission -- [Locked FROM Ratchet]

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Ironhide has never sounded this awkward or embarrassed in his entire time aboard the ship. He doesn't even seem able to quite get coherent words out of himself.]

I... I need... to find books. Certain... books. Of... questionable content. I... do not ask this lightly, I...

Need books about... human... mating. Do not ask.


Hate my life.





((ooc: Ironhide chucked Ratchet's books out the window. See? His wife is not happy.))

Comments

[chopshopgoddess.livejournal.com]

Told you he'd be mad.

[heavyweaponsbot]

... I did not think he would notice.

[chopshopgoddess.livejournal.com]

I tooooold you he would.

[missmimmi]

You need what?!

[ixgideonxi.livejournal.com]

I... okay. You told us not to ask, but... that doesn't particularly sound like the type of thing you guys would need.

[Gideon pauses to try and think of why a sentient mech would need something like this. It takes him a bit.]

...Unless your science buddy is getting overtly curious about other race's "practices".

[heavyweaponsbot]

Just... help me find the books.

[chopshopgoddess.livejournal.com]

Okay, fine. I'll help you.

[heavyweaponsbot]

Ratchet--! He had them for research! I... threw them out!

Just... he needs them replaced! It is not like that!

[heavyweaponsbot]

... I--[He growls to himself for a couple moments before he can answer.]

It is not. Ratchet just... has an interest. Scientific... interest.

[missmimmi]

Um.

[Okaaaay]

I... suppose you can simply find something in the library. Or possibly deck 12.

[heavyweaponsbot]

Appreciate this.

[ixgideonxi.livejournal.com]

Sounds like an interesting... interest.

So, uh. Is he looking for books on like, courting... or the actual act?

[chopshopgoddess.livejournal.com]

Uh huh. Don't mention it.

[Seriously.]

[heavyweaponsbot]

I... have to go... looking?

[That's just a horrible idea, Mimmi. You have no idea.]

[heavyweaponsbot]

It is all... science... to him.

How should I know! I just threw the things away! I did not read them!

[missmimmi]

Well... of course. The books are not going to find you.

[ixgideonxi.livejournal.com]

... Ah, you threw them away. Makes sense that he would need replacements, then.

Well, you need help finding them?

[heavyweaponsbot]

I will not.

Ever.

[heavyweaponsbot]

Why do... I have to go looking...?

[heavyweaponsbot]

They startled me.

[That's the best defense he has. Books. Startled him.]

... yeah. Probably.

[missmimmi]

Because you were the one who threw them out.

[ixgideonxi.livejournal.com]

[Gideon puts down the comm for a brief moment to stifle a chuckle. The idea of books startling something as huge and intimidating as Ironhide is an amusing one. When he picks it up again, his voice is back to its normal tone.]

I'd be willing to help you, then. I suggest we start off with the library.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Why just human matin'? Dem pink-skins barely even do it right.

[heavyweaponsbot]

[The level of sulkiness in his voice knows no bounds.]

Oh. Right.

[heavyweaponsbot]

... Yeah. Sure. Just... do not ask me to read them.

[He's about 99% sure that would cause another "heart attack". This is all so humiliating. He's an idiot.]