29th Transmission -- [Locked FROM Ratchet]

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Ironhide has never sounded this awkward or embarrassed in his entire time aboard the ship. He doesn't even seem able to quite get coherent words out of himself.]

I... I need... to find books. Certain... books. Of... questionable content. I... do not ask this lightly, I...

Need books about... human... mating. Do not ask.


Hate my life.





((ooc: Ironhide chucked Ratchet's books out the window. See? His wife is not happy.))

Comments

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Be seemin' like da mon be pigeonholin' himself. Be a lot more out dere den just humans.

[heavyweaponsbot]

I do not... want to hear this. I am not the one interested! He is! Go complain to him!

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Oh so joo be needin' dem fuh a "friend" do jah? Well maybe joo could broaden dis friend of joor's horizons. Open his mind to new t'ings eh?

[heavyweaponsbot]

Yes. For Ratchet. My medic. He has an... unfortunate... interest in these things.

Science, he says. Science my aft.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Course dat who it be fuh.

Don't know why da mon be wantin' books. Best way to learn be from experience

[heavyweaponsbot]

It is. You want to look at his post about it?

...

No. No. No.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Oh I believe joo mon. No need to be gettin' uptight.

Now why joo be gettin' all upset fuh? He be da one wantin' to learn, not joo right?

[heavyweaponsbot]

Eghh...

Because. This is embarrassing. And disgusting.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Ain't be notin' disgustin' 'bout. Hell, dere be notin' in life dat be bettah.

[heavyweaponsbot]

Yes there is. Firing a weapon. Destroying the enemy. Energon.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

No, no, and I don't know what da hell dat last one be so it be no by default.

Come on mon, how can joo not like makin' da beast wid two backs?

[heavyweaponsbot]

Combat is far preferable to... this.

... the what?

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Only if joo ain't be doin' it right. [He chuckles.] Or nevah done it all.

Joo know mon a liddle bedroom slammin', eatin' unda da sheets, wukin' da kinks out da bed. Sex mon, sex!

[heavyweaponsbot]

...

What I have done is no one's business. Except mine.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Right. So dat be a no.

[heavyweaponsbot]

I said it was none of your business.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Right right. Sorry mon. Guess dat be joor medic's business since he be done so intrested in dis.

[heavyweaponsbot]

... Yes. It is his business. He was the one who wanted to know.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Guess he be wantin' to joo one helluva suhprise den eh?

[Having no idea that Ironhide is actually a robot his mind has taken this in the completely wrong direction.]

[heavyweaponsbot]

... What are you talking about?

[He really has no idea what's going on here.]

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Come on mon, why joo t'ink he be wantin' to know so much 'bout sex? He be wantin' to get ideas dat be why. Jah can't be dat dense.

[heavyweaponsbot]

...

We are not human.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Neiddah am I. What be joor point?

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Oh... All Spark.]

We are mechanical. Non-organic.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

[Say what now.]

Huh. Well...dat be changin' t'ings just a liddle bit.