heavyweaponsbot | 22nd Transmission

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22nd Transmission

Why is it that organic fuel constantly appears in my presence? I have neither desire, nor capacity, to ingest this... Eugh.

Anyone want this scrap?

[Ironhide is offering up his Valentines candies to anyone who wants them. The stuffed creature--resembling a bull terrier--he picked up, and examined, but decided it was going to a special home.

Anyone who wants candy is welcome to either knock on his door, or pester him over the comms.]

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[The scowl remains while he sorts through data... An older voice... mentioning four sons... training... Oh. And it clicks.]

Huh.

[He gives the turtle a light thwack on the shell--it's a sign of affection, really.]

Good! No wonder your morale improved. Settled him in all right?

Oof.

[That's one hell of a thwack, Ironhide. Mikey stumbles forward, but straightens back up and grins again.]

Yeah, he's like, totally not weirded out at all. He gets really zen about this stuff.

... Sorry.

[His expression is chagrin, briefly, before he schools it away and folds his arms.]

Not at all? Even being captured like this?

No way, dude. He got captured before and like, didn't even break a sweat.

[He did get the absolute shit beaten out of him, buttttt that's not the point.]

[Ironhide quirks an optic ridge.]

Captured? What happened?

[Oh man. Now THIS is a story.

Mikey settles back down on the bed and sets the bowls of candy nearby, spreading his hands in preparation for an epic tale.]

Okay so like, there was this guy who was this kickass master of ninjutsu, and Master Splinter was his pet rat. So he learned how to kick butt from him, but this Oroku Saki dude came along and totally murdered his master.

So then like, he found us and we all got mutated and so did he, and he taught us ninjutsu. And then there were Foot everywhere so we fought them but then they kidnapped Master Splinter and it turned out the Shredder was Oroku Saki!

[Mikey is SO GOOD at explaining stories. |D]

[Ironhide hunkers down a couple feet away to listen, staring at Mikey.]

... Uh huh.

[Maybe... half of that makes sense to him.]

You had... feet everywhere? What is this... shredder? A weapon?

Foots.

[Mikey corrects him.]

... or is it Feet?

[He pauses, looking like he's in great pain trying to figure it out, before waving a hand.]

Like, a whole bunch of ninjas.

The Shredder was the dude who controlled them. He kidnapped Master Splinter and we had to go rescue him.

... Maybe Feet. You have two feet, hmn?

[This makes perfect sense to him. Words should be the same!]

And you defeated your enemy?

[Ironhide's logic is infallible.]

Well we thought we did. But like, he came back later and totally tried to kill us again.

So we beat him. Again.

[If only because of its creator's thick skull.]

Why is it that our enemies never end up as dead as they should, hmn? You think you have them down, but they simply reappear in the middle of a forest!

You beat it enough times, it should remain dead.

Dude, you are so right.

There's gotta be like, a club for super villains. And they all get magical regeneration powers or something.

[Mikey wiggles his fingers.]

A club? How does a club give them superior repair capabilities?

[Even so, he sounds amused.]

Dude, they're super villains!

[Mikey waves his arms as if this is the most obvious thing in the entire world.]

They have like, secret lairs and nuclear rockets and evil henchmen. And then the hero always comes to save the day but the villain never dies because then there wouldn't be another comic!

[At some point this stopped being about the Shredder and Megatron, and all about the Silver Sentry and Mikey's favorite comic book characters.]

[In the face of Mikey's flailing around, Ironhide might as well be a statue for all he moves.]

... They have what? What comic?

[The subject change hasn't really occurred to him.]

Y'know, comic books! Dude, I learned everything about super villains from comics.

That's how you know how to beat them.

[This makes perfect sense to Mikey.]

I doubt Megatron's weaknesses are detailed in books.

[Ironhide has never read a comic book in his life. He'd probably tear it if he tried.]

I know what you mean, dude. If there was a comic about the Shredder, he'd have been way easier to beat.

But you did, hmn? You took him down?

Yeah, like, twice.

Then I doubt you ever needed instructions.

That's part of being a ninja, dude. You gotta know how to improvise.

[He appears to consider this.]

Such as... hitting your enemy with a tank... instead of your cannons?

[This is totally improv!]

... that'd work.

Like, if Plan A and Plan B don't work, you make up Plan C as you go along. And still kick butt!

... Yeah, something like that.

[Instead of the trademark thwack, Mikey receives a slightly less... enthusiastic tap. He's trying to be careful.]

22nd Transmission

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[Commentlog] Oh the irony

[Commentlog] seriously |D

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