13th Transmission

[heavyweaponsbot]

[There are dragging, scraping sounds as the comm clicks on, and they continue throughout the transmission.]

I require...

[A long pause, as if the next part is physically painful to say.]

... a mechanic. And a drink.

[The comm clicks off there, as the speaker continues hauling his broken old aft toward his quarters.]

Comments

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[medicalofficer.livejournal.com]

... What did you want me to do?

[ He can't help but feel this would only make the situation more awkward, to constantly be on edge that he may have offended or pushed too close. It had been so much clearer that night. ]

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[heavyweaponsbot]

...

[He is silent for some time, pulling air into his intakes. What does he want the other to do? He doesn't honestly know. What will make it worse, and what will fix it?

Can anything make it worse, at this point?]

I... do not know.

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[medicalofficer.livejournal.com]

... Very well. Inform me when you do, please.

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[heavyweaponsbot]

...

I am sorry. All right? I do not know what to want you to do!

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[medicalofficer.livejournal.com]

I was not asking for apology. But I honestly do not know what you expect, when you refuse to acknowledge that what occurred was partially my desire as well.

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[heavyweaponsbot]

...

You... wanted... that to happen? Thought you said it was alcohol and... hormones.

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[medicalofficer.livejournal.com]

[ ... Slag. ]

... That... was not what I had meant.

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[heavyweaponsbot]

[He simply stares at him for a long... long moment.]

... You did.

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[medicalofficer.livejournal.com]

[ It's his turn to look at the floor, not entirely sure how to respond to that. Without flat out lying, that is. ]

... It is not my intention to make you more uncomfortable.

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[heavyweaponsbot]

[He wants to tell him to get out. But every time he tries to form the words, he can't. He can only stare at him, his expression blank.]

...

Too late for that.

[He regrets saying that as soon as he finishes.]

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[medicalofficer.livejournal.com]

Then I shall leave you be.

[ He turns for the door, fingers clenched into fists, annoyed at his own slip, moreso than Ironhide's behaviour. ]

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[heavyweaponsbot]

...

[He'd like it if Megatron showed up right now... to blast him into tiny components.]

I am... sorry. I...

[So much he wanted to say. To apologize for--for not being what the other wanted, what he needed, for hurting him, for not being able to tell him he'd wanted it too... But couldn't.]

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[medicalofficer.livejournal.com]

You have nothing to apologize for.

[ He doesn't look at him, his tone stiff. ]

I should return to my quarters.

... Perhaps it is best we both forgot it happened.

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[heavyweaponsbot]

[He buries his face in his hands, nodding. The tone stings.]

... Yeah.

If... that is what you want.

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[medicalofficer.livejournal.com]

... It would be for the best.

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[heavyweaponsbot]

...

[He nods, shoulders hunching over. It's for the best. It's for the best.

So why does it hurt?]

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[medicalofficer.livejournal.com]

If... you no longer require me, I will take my leave.

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[heavyweaponsbot]

... Whatever you think is best.

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[medicalofficer.livejournal.com]

... Clearly, my judgment is no longer trustworthy.

[ Yeah, he's just going to head for the door, before he makes this worse again. ]

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[heavyweaponsbot]

I...

Did not mean that...

[But he makes no move to stop him from leaving.]

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[medicalofficer.livejournal.com]

... You did.

[ Pauses at the door, still conflicted. He does not want the conversation to end on this note, but... What more can he say? ]

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[heavyweaponsbot]

Then, I apologize. Again.

[What more can he say? What more can he do?]

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[medicalofficer.livejournal.com]

If you feel that way, there is no reason to apologize.

A Medical Officer with compromised judgment is of little use to any 'bot.

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[heavyweaponsbot]

Stop that! You... you are the only medic we have! You think I will really allow anyone else to treat me! Hmn!

This was my fault! Not yours!

[SPAMS WITH ACTION!]

[medicalofficer.livejournal.com]

Others may be trained.

Stop blaming yourself! You are being a fool.