heavyweaponsbot | 10th Transmission

[This would probably go by faster if they could find a librarian, as Xanth is pretty sure there is one, but that person doesn't seem to be around. Manual searching, it is.

Eventually, Xanth spies a book regarding toads. Toads and frogs are kind of similar, right?]

M-Maybe it's-- d-down here?

[And he starts down the aisle, looking for anything on frogs, rather than toads.]

[If Xanth had someone with him who'd actually spent a lot of time in a library, it might help. Instead, it's a millennia-old soldier who was more at home on a battlefield than anywhere else.]

[He follows behind, peering over the boy's shoulder in between scanning shelves.]

That is a frog there. Why not that one?

[That's a toad, Ironhide.]

Um...

[Xanth picks up said book and examines it. Dang that really does look like a frog.]

I-I, uh, I think it's-- a-a toad, a, actually.

[He peers over Xanth's head, glowering at the book.]

... And?

A--And, I, uh, I-I'm, I-I think they're... d-different.

[Why else would they have different names, right? Then again, lots of things have different names...

Xanth tucks the book under his arm, but he glances down the row of shelves.]

But they look the same...

[They're animals. They can't be that much different. Seriously.]

See anything else?

[Xanth just shrugs. He doesn't much get it, either. Still looking along the shelf, he runs his fingers across the spines.]

U-Um...

[Come on, come on...]

Oh!

[He pulls one book out. There's a frog on the cover not unlike the one sitting on Ironhide's head, and across the top reads Frogs 101. Eyebrows lifting hopefully, Xanth holds the book up for Ironhide to see.]

Hmn.

[He peers at it, the good optic flicking over the cover, the title... and then he nods.]

Good work. We will use that.

[Xanth smiles, pleases, and then sets the toad book back on the shelf. It's out of order, but toads and frogs are so alike. Who'll care?

(Protip, Xanth: the librarian already doesn't like how you stained his floor with blood. He'll care.)

He tucks the book under his arm.]

G--Great! Sh--should we, uh, h--head back then?

[This is just another reason why they need Ratchet. Someone has to keep these boys in line.]

Yeah. C'mon.

[And you know what? Xanth is going to get picked up.]

[SCOOP

Hey, Xanth's not arguing. He kind of likes being carried by Ironhide, actually, and he's learning to climb up as Ironhide grabs him.

Quickly, he's secure up on Ironhide's shoulder, book in tow.]

[And, frankly, Ironhide doesn't mind doing it. Not that he'd ever admit it.]

[He'll march all the way back to his room, carrying Xanth like it's nothing at all.]

[And so Xanth will ride, again, like it's nothing at all. He rather likes the height, even if it means ducking down as they go through doors.

When they finally do get to Ironhide's room, Xanth just waits for him to crouch down or pick him up again or something. He could jump from this high, but he doesn't want to risk breaking an ankle or something.

Hey, man, it could happen.]

[He does crouch down. It's with a great complaining of gears, and grinding of joints, but he manages it.]

There. Down you get.

[Aaah nooo don't hurt yourself, Ironhide. Xanth climbs down, a little guilty at the sounds, but he doesn't apologize - though the urge is there. He knows Ironhide wouldn't like it.

He shoots Ironhide a smile of thanks, then waits for Ironhide to get the lock on the door.]

[Everything hurts anymore. He could use a tune-up, but he's just too stubborn to go out and look for help.]

[It takes him a second to haul himself upright, but he does, in time, and gets the door locked up.]

[Go see the mechanic, man! He's a nice guy! Probably! Xanth really has no idea.

Xanth walks over to Ironhide's bed, then sits down and flips the book open. As he does, he asks,]

I-Is the, uh, the-- th-the little guy s-still up there?

Think so.

[To better answer Xanth's question, said little guy pokes his head out from behind Ironhide's helm crest thing, and croaks.]

Yep.

[Xanth breaks into a lopsided smile.]

O--Okay, good. Just-- m-making sure he didn't... h-hop off or s--something.

[Now: to business! Xanth flips open the book on frogs and thumbs through for anything about how intelligent they are. Or if they can trained. Or what kind of habitat they need...

He frowns thoughtfully. There's a lot of varied information.]

Hm...

I-I, uh, I-I'm not sure what-- what kind of frog th-this is. That's, um, th-that we have, I-I mean.

[He holds the book up and shows Ironhide two adjacent pages displaying very different frogs.]

At this point? Would not surprise me if it did leave.

[And, once again, Ironhide crouches down near the boy. He really needs to get some of those joints looked at -- salt water is murder on gears.]

[He kind of tilts his head to observe his passenger, before snorting, and tapping the smaller frog.]

Looks more like that one.

[Xanth's frown deepens at the noise of Ironhide's frame. He's pretty sure the only care Ironhide's gotten since arrival was Xanth picking seaweed out of his joints, and that was a long time ago. Doesn't all metal rust...?

Still, he looks back to the book and nods.]

Y-Yeah, it, it does...

[He thumbs through the pages, looking for habitat and diet information. (And, of course, anything that says whether they could be trained.)]

Wh-- where'd you find him?

[And Xanth would be right about that. He was too firmly attached to getting maintenance from one specific source when he arrived. It's proving detrimental.]

Near the pools. The heated ones.

[He was washing forest off his feet.]

O-Oh, yeah, r-right.

[Sorry this is taking so long, Ironhide! Xanth's reading skills are still kind of terrible, and by kind of I mean very.

Eventually, he pipes up:]

Th-they like the-- the warm water, o-obviously, and the-- I-I guess they eat whatever bugs a-are, uh, a-around.

[He pauses, taps his finger on the page, then looks up.]

A--Are there a-any bugs a--around? I, I've been to th-- th-the pools, a-and they seem... um. N-Not-- not buggy.

[But there have to be bugs. Bugs are everywhere! And there are frogs, so logically, there would be bugs. But not everything follows logic in this place...]

[It's all right, Xanth. He'll wait for you.]

[But at the question, he just shakes his head, and looks confused.]

I was not looking for any insects. Just the water.

O-Okay.

[Xanth turns back to the book. After another minute or so, he looks up again.]

I, I-I don't think th-they're, uh, s--smart enough to be... trained.

[Which is sad, but not surprising, as they are little amphibians and the one on Ironhide's head is probably still trying to crawl into his mouth somehow.

As if Ironhide has a real mouth.]

10th Transmission - Audio

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