23rd Transmission (Backdated a bit)

[heavyweaponsbot]

[The following transmission has been backdated to the end of the hour after this occurred. Ironhide was "assaulted" by dancing macaroni in his personal space.]

Little scraplets! Be quiet I say!

[There's the sound of heavy metal feet impacting the floor, and the muted crunch of dried pasta. Eventually, as the hour winds down, the singing dies away, and Ironhide stops destroying his room killing macaroni.]

...

Hah! I have done it!

Now who is in control, Captain? Hmn! Your little tricks are worthless! I have defeated them.

[No, no he hasn't, the time just ran out. But he just sounds so proud of himself...]

I win.

Comments

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Deadpan]

No. I am an Autobot.

belated reply aka SOMEONE NEEDS TO LEARN TO MULTITASK

[phasebitchin.livejournal.com]

You said that.

Are all Autobots neanderthals like you?

it's okay ^^;

[heavyweaponsbot]

[What... is a neanderthal? Time to go the safe route!]

No. We are not.

[phasebitchin.livejournal.com]

Coulda fooled me. Hate to burst your bubble--

[Ha ha ha no she doesn't.]

--but you did jack. Even the hail is gone.

[And her room is covered in fucking ice. Everything is going to be SO WET.]

[heavyweaponsbot]

I destroyed the singing devices. Of course I have done something.

... [He scoffs] There was no hail.

[phasebitchin.livejournal.com]

You, what, stepped on macaroni? The crap they feed to small children?

[Scoooooff.]

And uh, yes there was? Cap'n decided I needed my chill.

[heavyweaponsbot]

It was singing. The captain created it, and I have stopped it.

... Lucky you.

[phasebitchin.livejournal.com]

You think you stopped noodles from singing.

[Lilith is determined to pee in his cornflakes.]

[heavyweaponsbot]

I stopped them from singing.

[HE is too proud of himself right now.]

[phasebitchin.livejournal.com]

But think! Was it really you, or just impeccable timing?

'Cause you could def give yourself a pat on the back for that.

[heavyweaponsbot]

It was me. I destroyed them.

[phasebitchin.livejournal.com]

Gooood booooy.

[If she could pat his head, she so would.]

[heavyweaponsbot]

We done here? You have any other stupid questions?

[phasebitchin.livejournal.com]

Wow, someone needs an oil change.

Yeah, yeah, go celebrate.

[heavyweaponsbot]

I wasn't aware humans required oil to function. You had best get that checked.

[phasebitchin.livejournal.com]

...

[Lilith gives serious, shocked pause.]

Dude. Did you just make a funny?

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Deadpan]

I have no sense of humor.

[phasebitchin.livejournal.com]

Oh.

Aww.

For a second there, I thought you might not be a total stiff.

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Whether or not he's deliberately misinterpreting her is... hard to say.]

Only stiff when I come out of recharge. On cold days.

[phasebitchin.livejournal.com]

[Either way, she's torn between laughing at him and sighing.]

If it ever snows indoors, I know where to put it all then.

[heavyweaponsbot]

Yeah, you have fun with that.

[phasebitchin.livejournal.com]

Sure will, honey.

[Lilith is not good with letting others have the last word.]

[heavyweaponsbot]

[Ironhide's vocabulary of pet names could fit on the head of a pin...]

Yeah, you do that... pet.

[That works, right?]

[phasebitchin.livejournal.com]

I... what? Excuse me?

[High-pitched cackling. Mission: MISERABLE FAILURE, Ironhide.]

[heavyweaponsbot]

...

[He just growls. Frag his life sideways.]