heavyweaponsbot | 3rd Transmission / Audio

[It's mutual. Just that it's only funny when it doesn't happen to you.]

... If you have ruined that paintjob I swear I will end you. You have no inkling of what I went through to obtain it. It is not nearly as difficult as you are making it, just stop touching anything for now.

When we return to normal, I am taking you to the ship's medic myself. Is it stubbornness that has you this way, or paranoia that I will steal Mikaela if you so much as blink?

[Oh no it isn't.]

... Nothing polish cannot get rid of. A lot of... polish. And it is! They make irritating scraping sounds if I so much as attempt to touch anything.

You will do no such thing. Keep that... organic medical officer away from me and my internals! It is hardly what you think. Something a Decepticon would never understand.

[There's a thunk as he face-palms.]

Sat through Hook's butcher-work for how many cycles and then this... Just remain where you are, I will find you and assist you with this if only to keep you from accidentally butchering someone.

The medical officer is robotic. Beyond that there is always the chief engineering officer, who seemed to assist Frenzy and Bumblebee well enough. And I understand more than you give me credit for.

Your own fault for putting claws in! I would never butcher anyone! Save for your kind.

I do not care! He is not... not my medical officer! I will tolerate no other! Take my body near him and I will... I will...

Break yours.

I was Sparked with those claws, I'll have you know. And I do not trust to you to use my body with the care that I do!

[He pauses for a long moment, voice lowering and tone taking on as much seriousness as he can muster.]

You wouldn't dare.

Likewise!

[He's never realized he sounded like that before. He's a little impressed with himself.]

Keep my body away from that so-called medic, and we will not have an issue, then.

But I am not the one with claws, currently. I am in-route to remedy your clumsiness with my servos.

[There's something to be said for a ruthless Decepticon doing the speaking, too.]

You stubborn older models. I had not planned to take your body to either of them while I am stuck in it, either way. But your body will be returned to you in the state you left it in, if we ever get back to our own forms; there shall not be a single particle of paint missing.

No. You are the one with sensitive, personal upgrades that require personal maintenance. Far more important than any claws. Just lucky they took my cannons.

[Yeah, kind of, but it's nothing like some of the stuff Megatron has said.]

Good! It had best be! Or I will not be the only one to dismantle... something.

[While it probably can't be heard, Shockwave is rolling his borrowed optics.]

You are the one with complaints about my claws. If you wish to be able to open doors without gouging the knob or the wood, or to touch one of the organics without bleeding them, I am offering my assistance.

I could not very well operate without servos, could I? Besides, it's so very uncouth to use claws for combat.

[Truth.]

So, if your medibot does not arrive, will you stay as you are now?

[He can't roll his... reindeer... nose... thing, so he'll settle for growling.]

It would be best if you simply did not have such irritating appendages at all! And do not even begin to get me started on these... things... on your head.

Your fellow Decepticons do not agree with that sentiment.

[Pauses, obviously thinking that over.]

Yes. I will. I trust no other living being to see to my repairs.

[It's so strange to hear a growl in his own voice. He almost never does so himself.]

My antennae are primarily to boost my communications array, thank you very much. Though they can assist in conveying emotion quite well, I have found.

The Decepticons you know are no 'fellows' of mine; we simply share a faction name and symbol.

[He trills at that, refraining from offering an opinion. Commenting on trust issues would likely make him a hypocrite.]

[Somehow, in this body, he manages to snort--this is Ironhide, if there's any possible way to make that sound, he will.]

Emotion? You? Do not attempt to amuse me.

Whatever you want to call them, they prefer to tear us apart more than they do to shoot us down.

[Growls again -- If Ratchet were here, he could fix this, he thinks.]

Unlike a certain number of Autobot scientists, I still possess my emotional subroutines, yes. How else could I manage loyalty, amusement, or irritation?

They sound like soldiers who have forgotten what they fight for - two traits that I and my brethren rarely held.

[After a quick errand, he's checking the only two places he figures Ironhide would be - his room or Shockwave's room.]

[There's that growl again.] Do not decry our scientists...! He has done nothing to your kind, Decepticon! Quiet!

Oh they know what they fight for. The glory of Megatron. The traitor himself.

[He's in his room, probably shredding something.]

Oh, the scientist of which I speak is a thoroughly deplorable creature. Once Perceptor deleted his personality, he became a true monster.

All hail... Fighting for a single mech is no fight at all.

[Knock knock, 'Hide.]

... I know no Perceptor. Not our kind. Autobots... would never be so...

[Flings the door open, scratching it in the process--there is as much RAGE as Shockwave's form is capable of conveying right there in that doorway]

They beg to differ.

Not yours, perhaps, but mine were, are. And they fear the Decepticons because they made them.

[He's rather impressed by that; he can't say he's seen so much rage in his own body before. Still, he can't help but to reach across and run one digit over one of his antenna, as carefully and swiftly as possible. He's never seen himself from this angle before.]

There is something to be said for their loyalty then, I suppose. Let me in; I refuse to do this in the hallway.

The All-Spark made us all! We made nothing so despicable, so traitorous--

[Just... jerks away from Shockwave's/his hand. Personal space, you are violating it, and those are falling under a distinct HANDS OFF zone. Plus, he's never seen himself... touch... anyone like that. That's just weird.]

...

[Steps aside. Congrats, he's speechless.]

[Unbidden, a smirk ghosts across his/Ironhide's face as he steps in. While he dislikes people entering his own personal space without leave, he like to violate others, just to see how they react. It doesn't hurt that he's willing to take advantage of Ironhide's speechlessness.]

The Allspark may have created us, but it was the Autobots that caged and studied those with unusual features. They made lab rats of us and we learned to hate it.

Let me see one of my servos, please.

[Notices, and snarls in response.]

We would... never!

... [Still growling, not really capable of coherent speech, he's so very angry... stabs a claw in Shockwave's/his direction]

[He twitches his head out of the way, nabbing his/Ironhide's arm by the gauntlet over his wrist and sets to work... popping wine corks onto the tips of each claw and securing them with duct tape.]

Tell that to Blitzwing, who endured their prodding and experimentation for far too long. Or any of the other Decepticon survivors of the war who did not have the humanoid features common to Autobots.

[Freezes in place, because he can't move without harming his body, and damn if Shockwave didn't figure that out, he bets.]

What! What are--what is this! [Hand flail as he tries to back away and get Shocks OUT of his personal bubble]

I will!

[The flip side is that he's not going to do anything to harm his own body, of course. However, he's temporarily grateful for being in Ironhide's body - he's loathe to admit it, but it's stronger than his.]

Keeping you from doing more damage to your quarters and my body. And potentially the passengers. [If there's anything to be said for him, he works fast; he's finished with the three claws on one hand and nabs for the other, keeping his tone as soothing as possible. Quit your flailing B|] If it is any consolation, I will look ridiculous when I am returned to my body.

And what chance do you think you would have of them listening to an Autobot?

Edited 2009-09-13 05:45 (UTC)

I would never harm an innocent! [struggle, flail, was he always this strong? At least now he knows he can overpower this Shockwave... If things ever go back to normal.] And that is no consolation!

Perhaps I will use your disgusting shell.

Not intentionally, perhaps. [He... oh man, did he just snort? Apparently he's running low on discomfort with this body. He releases him once it's done.]

If you believe you could successfully mimic me - including my loyalty to Lord Megatron.

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